The fastest way to lose influence is to go looking for it.

A leader had recently moved to another country for a senior role in a startup.

Within a few weeks, he was already wondering how he could building influence in a new organisation

Everything seemed to be happening faster than he was comfortable with.

The company wanted to hire a lot of people in a few days, launch quickly and work out the details later.

He wanted to question many of these decisions. But he also wanted to build good relationships with his boss and peers.

I asked him what he really wanted to question.

He explained that a peer wanted to launch something quickly, and that his role was to support him.

But when I asked what exactly concerned him about the proposal, he realised that he wasn’t clear.

He finally said…

“I think he is in a hurry. And I think he is trying to act smarter than me.”

That was an honest answer.

The proposal may still have had problems. But he had no idea what those problems were.

So the real issue was…

➡️ His concern may have been valid, but it had got mixed up with how the other person made him feel…something that can happen to all of us.

Someone may appear more confident, get more attention or move ahead without asking for our opinion.

Without realising it, we can become more interested in proving the person wrong than in understanding what is right.

➡️ Influence begins when we focus on what the organisation needs rather than on our own feelings or needs.

– What are we trying to achieve?
– Does our concern genuinely relate to that purpose?

Once that is clear, we know when to support, when to question and when to let go.

If an idea helps us move towards the shared goal, we can support it generously and help it succeed.

If a decision could take us away from it, we can question it strongly.

And if someone gets the credit, appears smarter or steps on our toes a little, we don’t always have to fight that battle.

We can support others while continuing to use our own judgment.

Before trying to influence others, it may help us to ask…

What or who am I really trying to serve?

Life is bright.
#ABrighterLife
#LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutiveCoaching #Influence