How Your Struggles Make You a Better Leader:
A Coach’s Realisation

I felt like a fraud.

Thirteen years ago, after stepping away from CXO roles in corporate, I sat across from my first coaching client.

I felt like a fraud. Not because I didn’t know what I was doing.

But because I recognized myself in every struggle they shared…

○ The CEO who couldn’t delegate? – I used to solve everything myself at my previous company.

○ The senior leader who avoided difficult conversations? – I’d done the same thing for years.

○ The executive who burned out their team? – I’d been there too.

I thought,

“How can I help them with issues I struggled with myself?”

“Maybe I should refer them to someone who actually has it figured out.”

But then, mid-session..this happened:

They described a situation that felt exactly like one I’d faced years earlier.

Instead of giving advice, I found myself asking:

“What do you think is really driving that behavior?”

The leader paused. Started thinking out loud.

He connected dots I never could have connected for them.

That’s when it hit me.

✨️This wasn’t about me having answers they didn’t have.

It was about me understanding their journey well enough – to ask the questions that mattered.

Not because I was perfect.

But because I understood the struggle from the inside.

● The pain of micromanaging when you know you shouldn’t.

● The exhaustion of carrying everyone else’s problems.

● The fear of having the conversation that needs to happen.

I’d lived it all.

But here’s what changed everything:

👉Coaching isn’t about having all the answers.

✨️It’s about being empty enough to really listen.

✨️It’s about asking the questions I wish someone had asked me.

✨️It’s about creating space for them to find their own way through.

The moment I stopped trying to be the expert who had it all figured out and started being the person who understood their journey – everything shifted.

My “weaknesses” became my greatest strengths as a coach.

👉Because sometimes the best guide isn’t someone who’s never been lost.

👍It’s someone who remembers what it felt like to find their way.

What struggles from your past might actually be your greatest gifts today?

Ashwni Sharma

Executive & Leadership Coach ( ICF-PCC → MCC in Progress ) · Marshall Goldsmith Certified · Founder & MD, A Brighter Life

Ashwni, the Founder and MD of A Brighter Life, is dedicated to empowering leaders to enhance their effectiveness, mindfulness, and influence for joyful success. With over 27+ years of corporate experience, driven by his passion for personal transformation, Ashwni left a successful career spanning four major companies across the UK, USA, and India. Working with CXOs, Board Members, and Top Leaders globally, he combines business management skills with life transformation expertise to enable practical and applicable conversations and actions. He holds international certifications as an Executive Coach and has mastered modalities such as NLP and Hypnotherapy. Ashwni’s passion lies in fostering self-leadership as the foundation for leadership development.

Connect with Ashwni Sharma