At a recent social gathering, a lady was quite vocal about her feelings on certain topics.

As often happens, others joined in, and soon, an argument ensued. Voices rose as people tried to prove their points. It became an all vs one.

The lady, initially vocal, ended up almost in tears, shouting as someone said something personal.

In that moment, I spontaneously felt a strong urge to empathize with her emotions as I could see what was going on at a deeper level, even if I may not have agreed with her views.

As an executive coach and inner-child therapist, I’ve come across many who were never acknowledged for their true feelings in childhood.

Such people end up feeling hurt when not acknowledged.

Anyway, I approached her, sat next to her, and held her lovingly. To my surprise, without any hesitation, she instantly rested her head on my shoulder, like a child, and started crying.

It could have gone either way but I survived, may be because my intentions were clear?

Everyone was surprised, and the room went quiet. I held her until she calmed down. Embarrassed, she apologized to everyone.

The party continued peacefully, and the lady was cheerful again.

Days later, her close friend told me two things:

• Many were upset with her behavior..

Well, others were upset with her behavior because we often don’t understand what’s hidden inside aggression—a deep desire to be seen and acknowledged.

• Surprisingly, she has been much calmer and less vocal since the incident.

And this change in her behavior, likely came because someone understood her struggle unconditionally, acknowledged her feelings, and accepted her publicly.

This experience reminded me how important it is to understand that everyone has their own struggles.

Sometimes, all they need is someone to say, “It’s OKAY.”

It’s also okay if we don’t always understand others’ struggles. We all have areas where we haven’t been acknowledged. The key is to recognize this and work on ourselves.

Arguments and aggression often stem from deep wounds of not being accepted or acknowledged since childhood.

 Here’s what we must remember:

1. Negative feelings are part of life.
2. They can’t be pushed out by labeling them as bad.
3. They lose their hold on us only when we don’t judge them, understand our life’s story and learn to Love and Accept ourselves for who we are.

Change can only start then…

How do you respond/react when someone gets too vocal or reacts with unexpected anger and aggression?

Ashwni Sharma

MD & Founder – A Brighter Life | Global Executive Coach | Psychometric Assessment Professional | Master NLP Practitioner | Inner Transformation Specialist | Self Mastery Coach

Ashwni, the Founder and MD of A Brighter Life, is dedicated to empowering leaders to enhance their effectiveness, mindfulness, and influence for joyful success. With over 27+ years of corporate experience, driven by his passion for personal transformation, Ashwni left a successful career spanning four major companies across the UK, USA, and India. Working with CXOs, Board Members, and Top Leaders globally, he combines business management skills with life transformation expertise to enable practical and applicable conversations and actions. He holds international certifications as an Executive Coach and has mastered modalities such as NLP and Hypnotherapy. Ashwni’s passion lies in fostering self-leadership as the foundation for leadership development.

Connect with Ashwni Sharma